Stacey Harp

I really feel for this lady.

I believe she is coming from a good place but that energy has been severely misguided.  My Christian friends who have watched this are quite disturbed by her words!

Anyway, I don't think there is any point even trying to reason with this person and any attempt to will just add fuel to her fire.  With anyone extremely passionate about their views, whether logical or based on fact, they will only hear and see what they want to - regardless of any argument put forward to them.

So until she cools off, let us just let her be without judging or adding sticks to the flame.

-Forky

The Straight Australia Policy

Reading up on the White Australia Policy and past racism in the United States of America, I couldn't believe how similar the logic used to discriminate is to the rationale against homosexuals.  The reasons given as to why black Americans couldn't hold fighting roles in World War Two includes the 'fact' that they aren't as mentally capable to do battle.  I wonder who decided that?  Surely not a black person.  It seems that those who discriminate like to pluck stupidity out of thin air and proclaim it as a reason to justify their awful actions.  Australia wouldn't allow black American servicemen to enter their country and had to stay in the ships at port.  They were concerned about spoiling their society, yet never considered this racism.  They were simply, based on 'fact', protecting their institution.  They didn't even let the black half of a mixed race couple to immigrate.  Does any of this ring a bell?

Now, it took decades for such blatant blindness to be abolished from our supposedly educated and civilised western laws.  They couldn't prove that they were smarter and what their feelings were.  They didn't need to prove that they are black though.  That fact is plain to see.

The battle to stop gay discrimination faces an even more difficult challenge based on two extra layers of difficulty: our invisibility and sexual taboo.  We can't prove our existence.  You can't see gay.  Some people behave in ways stereotypically to what is perceived as gay behaviour, but most of us are transparent.  The difference between us and the norm isn't our skin colour but our sexual orientation.  Something much harder to deal with as a society and break down to one simple fact that every gay person knows:  Being gay isn't a choice and the discrimination we face is immoral and wrong.

-Forky

Gay Jokes

Gay jokes on TV (or anywhere for that matter) should be banned.

I caught myself laughing at one in a popular TV sitcom and was so disappointed in myself.  It was such a mindless thing and I asked myself, why?

Don't get me wrong, I DO have a sense of humour, but considering there are so many laws that discriminate against us, I believe these jokes cause more harm than the cheap, light entertainment it provides for a prime time audience.

First a joke.  Then teasing at school.  Then violence, and so on.  If us homosexuals have ever been accused of a "gay agenda", then here is the "straight agenda" slapping us on the face.  Gay jokes on TV only serves to misinform the main population and humiliate us.  It disrespects all the work toward re-education and equality.

We're still living in the stone age.  Did we support "black" jokes before laws were changed to protect them from discrimination?  Until we are granted the same equality; the "equality" everyone else takes for granted, let us keep all joking aside.  Only then should we look back with humour, and a big sigh of relief.

-Forky

I can't say "No"

"Are you gay?"

I get asked this occassionally.  Not because I'm the flamboyant type or declare my pride.  It is usually when someone puts two and two together after asking me a series of questions about my life.

Recently I was asked "are you straight?".  A slight pause.  I said "no".

We were talking about my life, my parents, moving out, religion and the culture of where I come from.  Stories from my past, without being too specific.  Being a teacher, this person could tell straight away what I wasn't saying.

I don't need to say "I am gay which is why I..........".

It is nice to know that within these gaps is a voice that I don't need to breathe air into. Sometimes silence speaks more proclaiming my pride.

My story isn't unique.  As a young gay adult I tend to keep the peace.  Learning on the fly how to comb things over and keep everyone happy.

-Forky

I want a baby

I had a thought the other day that all my friends are either at the stage of getting married or having children.  Then I asked myself: "would I have kids if I were straight?".  I thought deeply about it and I came to an undeniable conclusion: YES.

This feeling was confirmed while watching "The Biggest Loser" and one of the contestants broke down after finding out that his wife was pregnant with his child.  Just seeing his reaction brought me to tears.  I was so happy for him.  At that same time I was vicariously feeling what it would be like to possibly become a dad.

I know that these days there are many options for gay men.  But seriously, the biggest factor that puts me off going down those paths is how difficult it would be for the child living in the world that exists today as people found out he/she had two gay fathers (or just one).  A miracle would need to happen before I would change my mind.

I don't know.  Sometimes I look at people and think, "he/she doesn't deserve to have a child".  Straight people have nothing stopping themselves from immortality, regardless of how good the would be as parents.  There isn't a pre-requisite to have a kid (unless you're adopting of course).  Yet two very capable and loving parents of the same gender are judged by anything but their ability to be good parents.  I really don't think I could live with that sort of judgement.  Especially in the public light.

Anyway, I think I would make a great dad.

-Forky

The sexual lifestyle

"The gay lifestyle".

I know this isn't always said with malice, but that term just doesn't sit right with me. Just like "sexual preference", I guess my breathing preference is to inhale air instead of water or sand.

Anyway, here's some basic observations of what kind of lifestyle my gay friends have:

- Most have full time jobs in a professional occupation
- They are paying off a mortgage(s)
- They're healthy and don't take drugs
- They are family oriented
- They go to the movies and birthday parties
- They spend Christmas with loved ones
- They have mostly straight friends, considering most people on this planet are, and
- Some but not all are lucky enough to have someone to love and love them back in committed monogamous relationships.

This might be a little far fetched, or maybe I've been very lucky with my experience, but I'm struggling to distinguish the difference between this and the "straight lifestyle". I'm sure they have great sex lives, but I don't care to even ask my straight friends what they get up to in bed. Furthermore, I know of more straight people who get up to interesting activities, but again, its a proportional thing I'm observing I'm sure.

I know some of you reading this might think I'm making a fuss over nothing. For the sake of those who do use words to marginalise or those who are otherwise confused about a reality outside their personal experience, can't we stick to the term "sexual orientation"? After all, it is exactly what it suggests. A sexual orientation toward a gender or genders. It is not a choice or a style of life.

Of course some are convinced it is a choice, but I guess its hard to know unless your sexual orientation is geared toward the same sex. So really, it takes one to know whether one is choosing or not. Likewise, someone who is gay and has no inclination toward the opposite sex could just as easily conclude that all straight people are closeted homosexuals. Fortunately we live in a straight society so they are well educated through purely existing in it that this isn't the case.

I guess it is a straight society's consequence, creating a doubt as to whether something they don't see or personally experience exists. Most gay people keep their orientation to themselves, quite successfully. I guess their lifestyle doesn't come through quite enough to make it obvious.

-Forky